In the past few weeks, I lost my job, my car was stolen, and my wife had a miscarriage. (I kid you not!) These events have actually brought me to the state of depression. I’m wondering if this is a bad luck, and I should go to mikvah or do something else special to get rid of the bad aura? Sorry if the question looks stupid – I am possibly a bit superstitious and not an optimistic person by nature.

I’m sure that I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know, but going through the kind of distress that you have recently faced would certainly leave its mark on one’s mood. If you and your wife did not feel depressed after coming through it, we might indeed suspect that there’s something wrong. For whatever they’re worth, you have my most heartfelt blessings and prayers for quick success in your struggle for children and for all the other good things you seek.

I’m a rationalist (either by nature or conviction – I don’t know which), so, personally, I wouldn’t be so quick to blame these events on a “bad aura” or bad luck. I, therefore, wouldn’t prescribe a mechanical “fix” to it because these tend to be somewhat superficial and don’t go to the core of a person.

Why, you might ask, is it important to get to a person’s core? What do such disparate and external troubles have to do with your own personality? (Please don’t think I’m even hinting at some “higher knowledge”, that it was some sin that was the cause of your misfortune.)

Let’s picture a God who wants nothing more for His creations than their success, happiness, and perfection (see, for example, Gen. 17: 1). This God would, in order to further His goals, provide everything possible to encourage His creations to strive ever higher. Now, bearing in mind that God wants us to succeed, what might His subtle assistance look like? Occasional reminders to, for example, lift our heads above the mind-numbing rush for material success might take the form of material setbacks. These setbacks might prompt us to question the relative importance of some of our temporal pursuits.

According to Rabbi E.E. Dessler, the “reminders” are sometimes integral to God’s plan for a particular person’s perfection (Rabbi Dessler calls that “mazal elyon“). However, for most people, the reminders are only circumstantial. That means that if we would act in a way that negates the need for a setback, then the setback can be avoided altogether.

A clarifying example: “David” might be a man of whom God expects outstanding devotion and sensitivity to the needs of weak and vulnerable people around him. Should David commit too much time and energy to his own needs, and spend his days planning seaside vacations, he will fail to live up to the potential for which he was created. God might send, let’s say, illness or poverty to David, providing him with the opportunity to achieve a greater sensitivity to the ill and poor in general. If he wakes up in time, David will get the message and refocus his priorities.

But David also has the chance to independently awake his moral instinct and sensitize himself to the needs of others. He would thereby be achieving the greatness that God had always wanted of him, but without the need of an unpleasant reminder.

With this, we can perhaps understand at least one aspect of the suffering of this world. Could these events – as inexplicable and undeserved as they seem – not be a call to somehow re-examine and refine one’s inner core; to grow in some deep and meaningful way?

Without having any idea of what might be missing in your personal Jewish lives (I can barely keep track of my own shortcomings, and I spend lots of time with myself), I think I can safely assume that an extra dose of something spiritual might not be entirely inappropriate. It might be attempting to envelope yourselves in some extra Sabbath observance (bearing in mind the wonderful quiet and peace that the Sabbath can bring), or attempting some extra Torah study (particularly, community oriented study—if that’s available to you).

Honestly, however, I have no business dictating your next step, but a sincere re-dedication to sustained Jewish growth in some way should have, at least, the curative quality of a trip to the mikvah (something I don’t oppose either, by the way).