My mother just had a miscarriage. Is there is anything I need to do? Do I light a yahrtzeit candle?

I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s miscarriage. A miscarriage, especially a late term one, can be an extremely traumatic event. I wish you, your mother, and your entire family only happy tidings in the future.

Although an unborn fetus has tremendous sanctity from the Jewish viewpoint, hence the cautiousness with which we approach the life of a fetus, the fetus (in certain respects) is not viewed the same as a child after birth. As such, Jewish law vis-a-vis mourning does not treat the death of a fetus quite the same way as the death of a person after birth. The laws of mourning, generally speaking, do not apply to a miscarriage; Jewish law does not prescribe sitting shivah, nor lighting a yahrtzeit candle, after a miscarriage.

This is not to say, of course, that one does not experience a tremendous loss, and it is OK to seek and desire comfort after a miscarriage. As I am sure you have already gathered, the best thing you can do is to “be there” for your mother, even if no formal laws apply.

Please give your mother my blessings and good wishes.

Be well,

Rabbi Yoel Spotts