What is the proper response to people who refer to converts as converts and imply a second-class status? Some people insist on making this distinction regardless of the length of time since the conversion. I get angry but do not want to berate someone who does this.
I apologise that I don’t have time now to give you all the references, but your question deals with a very fundamental issue in Judaism. The Torah states several times the severity of insulting or causing (emotional) pain to a convert. The Talmud is very clear that once a person has converted to Judaism and become part of the Jewish people it is forbidden to remind him (or her) of their past, or even to refer to someone as a convert if that will embarrass them. Of course, if the convert him/herself is proud of their voluntary acceptance of Judaism and wishes to discuss it, they may do so. Referring to a convert in a way which implies second class status or reminding them that they are a convert is included in the prohibition of lashon hara (evil speech). This whole topic is dealt with at great length in the book “Chofetz Chaim” which is one of the most famous books of the past century. I don’t believe it is available in English in its entirety, but there is a very good English summary called “Guard you Tongue” by Zelig Pliskin. I suggest that you try and read this book, which will give you “ammunition” to try to dissuade people from making the sorts of comments that make you angry.
[Here are some other great books on the subject. There are links to related books on the bottom- Ed]
I hope this answer helps and wish you every success in your concern for converts.
Regards
Rabbi David Sedley