Swimming attire

Answer

The question of modest dress is a difficult one for modern women to deal with because the society in which we live gives incredibly mixed messages.On the one hand we are told that women are just like men in every way, that women can and should compete with men on an equal footing in the workplace, that women should be judged for their brains, competence and talents, just as men are, and that men should not treat women any differently than they treat other men. We are also told that we have a “right” to dress for comfort and coolness without regard to other people’s opinions.

But then on the other hand, the media are full of images of impossibly beautiful women immodestly dressed, and there seems to be a constant subliminal message being given off that the ideal woman is young, physically perfect, and constantly available intimately to every passing man on the street.

Yet when a real woman — not an actress or a model — dresses in accord with current magazine standards — and a man makes unwelcome advances towards her — then she turns around and accuses him of sexual harassment. Women are confused as to how they are supposed to act and dress in order to achieve respect in the wider world, while men are confused as to what women expect of them.

If you want to see an idea of how a woman dresses when she does want to look nice but does not want to look like a sex object — when she wants to be taken seriously by men and women alike — you should look at people who dress with professional dignity at all times. Two good examples are the present and former First Ladies, Laura Bush and Hillary Clinton. Both of them dress with refinement and good taste, and you do not see pictures of them in the media wearing bathing suits or shorts and T-shirts.

Of course, you were not asking about wearing a bathing suit to the office but about proper beach wear.

In reality, if you want to follow strict Jewish law, you should not go swimming at all in a place where there are men around (other than husband, father, son or very young children). Even a “modest” bathing suit reveals more than Jewish law allows. The minimum is that a woman’s arms must be covered past the elbow and her legs to the bottom of the knee, as well as her neckline past the collarbone. Also, see-through clothes that reveal her underwear, and short shirts that reveal the midriff, are not allowed.

However, if someone is not yet up to the point where she is ready to commit herself to following the rules strictly, it is still a valuable thing to dress in the most elegant, refined way possible within the life she is leading. At the beach that means covering a little more rather than revealing a little more. And when she comes out of the water, she should put a robe on — there are flattering beach robes in all the swimwear departments of stores like Sears and JC Penney. (This also helps prevent sunburn and premature wrinkling.)

There is a great deal more that can be said about this subject, of course, but I hope that what I have written will at least give you a partially satisfying answer to your question.

One other thing I must mention is that according to the Torah, it is not only women, but men as well, who must adhere to standards of modesty, good taste and refinement in their dress and deportment. It is not that Judaism denigrates the sexual aspect of life — just the opposite — the relationship between husband and wife is considered HOLY — but that aspect of life is definitely considered PRIVATE. This issue — the zone of privacy that people must respect around each family — goes to the heart of what is missing in modern
society.

There are two really terrific books on the subject of modesty, which I heartily recommend to you. One is called *A Return to Modesty* by Wendy Shalitt, and the other one is called Outside/Inside by Gila Manolson. I hope you can get hold of one or both of these books, and that you find them enjoyable and inspiring.

–Toby Katz