Hi there. I am a born Jew searching for some answers to questions I have on the orthodox sect on the religion I’ve come to love. My question I have right now is more to do with the social aspects of the orthodox life. Here it is:
How do Orthodox parents feel about their children mingling, or even coming good friends with people of another religion, lets say Catholicism?
Hi, Thanks for asking this question. Judaism goes out of its way to teach us how to live our lives as Jews. Within that framework we are given many laws that help keep the Jewish people together. We know that it is forbidden to marry a non-Jew, for example. Historically, we also try to live together and not be influenced by the non-Jewish society around us. When the Jews lived as slaves in Egypt they kept their Jewish clothing and their names. Why? Because if we lose our identity and uniqueness we are nothing. The Jewish people are not a people of history and culture. We are a religion of belief and law.
As a result, we typically do not mingle on a purely social level, with non-Jews. Meaning to say that if we want to stamp out intermarriage in our society we have to start with not doing things that will put a stumbling block in front of us when it comes to love and intimacy. If we encourage our children to mingle with kids of other faiths socially there is no way we can be upset if they “fall in love” with someone who is Catholic. We must try to give our children the best shot at spiritual survival. The result of an intermarriage is spiritual destruction for that child’s Jewish future. If we do not put up barriers then we are asking for the issue to present itself to us.
Orthodox families typically will not have their children mingling with non-Jewish children for this reason and another one. Judaism has a very specific morality. It teaches a pureness that does not exist in our culture as a whole. Movies and video games that children play, for example, are filled with sex, murder, and things that are not even mentionable. How can a responsible parent allow their child to witness such things? From a Torah perspective that is not “allowing them their freedom” that is exposing them to character traits that are only destructive. The point in mentioning this is that when a Torah observant teen goes and plays at the house of someone who does not share his or her values the risk is too high that what he or she will experience will not be “kosher.” Are we sheltering our kids? Yes. Are we living in a bubble? Yes. The Jewish people have lived in a bubble for 3300+ years. It is the bubble that is the secret to Jewish survival. It has been the coming out of the bubble in the past 200 years that has led to a 90+ intermarriage rate in the 35 and under age category in my home town. I hope that this helps you. Please do not hesitate to write back for further discussion. Please look at this chart and you will be stunned. Look at the numbers on the far right compared to the initial number of 100 people.
Be Well,
Rabbi Litt