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The Essential Parts of a Wedding Ceremony

Answered by Rabbi Azriel Schreiber

Question

What are the essential parts of a wedding ceremony?

Answer

The only essential thing is the ceremony itself, consisting of two parts, eirusin (“betrothal”) and nisuin (“marriage”), which are always done together nowadays. Tenoim (antenuptial agreements) are also customary, but nowadays they too are made at the time of the wedding. The Rabbi who officiates at the wedding (the “mesader kiddushin”) can handle all of these things, if necessary. Events such as a "Wort", an “Aufruf”, a kiddush, and “sheva brochos” are all optional; they depend on the desire of the couple, family or friends to conduct celebrations of the event in addition to the wedding itself.

Follow-up question

What is a “Tish”? I am not sure if that is the correct word, but I am asking about when the groom-to-be teaches Torah to the men at the wedding, and the men try to interrupt him by singing songs, etc. What is the purpose? What does the Groom teach? The Tish is a reception for the groom prior to the wedding ceremony. The Talmud teaches us that one should only eat a wedding meal if the groom is a Torah scholar. As such there is a tradition for the groom to speak words of Torah to show that he qualifies. However, we do not wish to strain him on this occasion to give a lenghty speech, so once he has shown us that he is even minimally knowledgeable, by beginning his speech, we interrupt him and let him know that he has shown enough.