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Ask the Rabbi: answers from Project Genesis rabbis
Why does the Torah forbid intermarriage?
The Torah forbids intermarriage between Jews and non-Jews (Deut. 7:3ff: “You shall not intermarry with them; you shall not give your daughter to his son, nor take his daughter for your son”) because it leads to loss of Jewish identity (“because he will turn your son away from Me”), i.e. to assimilation.
I am a Jewish woman who has intermarried. I was raised in a secular home, but have always “felt” Jewish and have a strong relationship with G-d.I did not find intermarriage to be a problem until I had children.I try to teach my older daughter about Judaism and we recite the Shema together, daily. Does G-d believe I’ve forsaken him?
I’m moved by your question, and by your commitment to educate your children about Judaism. We consider your children 100% Jewish and therefore they deserve the best Jewish education you can give them. A sense of their own identity is the first step, and it sounds like you’re doing that. Thank you!
We believe that the Infinite Creator of the Universe (sometimes known as God) is in control of everything. You were born to the parents you were born to for a reason. I don’t know what the reason is; perhaps you will learn it one day. But I do know that no parents are perfect and no children are perfect. We are only considered “liable” for our parents mistakes if we knowingly perpetuate them.
Therefore, now that you know that you were under-educated as a child, it seems to me that God would only hold it against you if you ignored that information and continued your life as before. If, on the other hand, you wake up to your own heritage and start growing in your Judaism, you can reverse the past.
What do I mean? Well, you’re already beginning to do this, by educating yourself on-line. The next step may be to sign up for a meaningful Jewish class in your area (or on-line).
With the risk of sounding like I’m tooting my own horn, I will recommend my own book because it has helped many people like yourself find a happy way back into Judaism (I assure you I make no profit off the sale of the books). It is “The Art of Amazement: Judaism’s Forgotten Spirituality” and will help you make the Shema and other rituals meaningful for your kids.
There are many other good books in English I would recommend. You may enjoy “The Rosh Hashana / Yom Kippur Survival Kit”; “The Bible for the Clueless But Curious”; and any book by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan.
Rabbi Seinfeld
http://rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com