Are women allowed to make havdalah if a man will be home in 5 minutes? When is a woman allowed to make havdalah for herself and other women?
There is a difference of opinion regarding a woman’s obligation to hear havdalah. The question revolves around the relationship between havdalah and kiddush. They are both positive, time-bound commandments, and as a result, women should be exempt. However, the Talmud in tractate Berachos proves that this is an exception to the rule, and that women are in fact obligated in all the positive commandments of the Sabbath, including kiddush. Yet, are they obligated in havdalah just like they are obligated in kiddush?
The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 296:8) rules that women are obligated in havdalah. However, the Rema in his glosses ad locum rules that women should avoid the issue altogether by hearing havdalah from a man.
All that notwithstanding, we must contend with more issues: The blessing on the wine is certainly integral to havdalah — but the candle and spices are not (as evidenced by the fact that we do not use them after a holiday). These, then, would be two time-bound commandments in which she is not obligated. Additionally, there is the custom that women do not drink from the havdalah wine (this has to do with remembering how Eve gave the fruit of the tree to Adam). Yet, if she is making havdalah, someone has to drink the wine!
Bottom line is that the definitive work, Mishna Berura (297:35) rules that if she will not hear havdalah from a man, a woman can make havdalah and drink the wine. If she can make havdalah for herself, then she can certainly make it for other women. However, it is clear that if a man will be home in a reasonable amount of time, then she should wait to hear it from him so as not to invoke all of these issues.
Best wishes,
Rabbi Yosef Friedman