My maternal grandfather was very insistent that the only way for Jews to survive was to assimilate completely. My mother married a Christian. Even though I feel very much a Jew, and always have, I wonder if I need to actually go through a conversion process to “officially” become a Jew. There’s nothing to convert me from, though there is doubtless much I could learn. I know some Jewish practices, like reciting the Shema, but I would like to do more to be a better Jew. Does that mean instruction as converts do, or doing guided readings of some kind, or something else? Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
There is certainly no ambiguity about Jewish status: the child of a Jewish mother is Jewish and requires no conversion. Jewish observance does oblige a Jew who had once professed Christian beliefs (or those of a similar faith) to immerse in a mikveh (ritual pool) and publicly proclaim his loyalty to the Torah, but that doesn’t seem to be your situation at all. Therefore, there is really no ceremony that can add anything to your Jewishness.
What, however, could you do to deepen the intensity of your commitment to God? It’s hard for me to guess at what your specific strength might be, but I might suggest adopting some Torah mitzva as your own (see http://www.ncf.ca/~es625/essay/mezuzah for an essay on the subject). I also think that studying the first chapters of a most magnificent work The Path of the Straight (by the 17 Century Italian scholar Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato) can be a very powerful experience. There is an English translation available here: http://www.shechem.org/torah/mesyesh/ – in this edition, the first nine chapters are the most crucial.
I wish you the very best in your Torah growth,
Rabbi Boruch Clinton
Ottawa, Canada