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Repentance for Repeat Offenders

Question

How do we understand the concept of Teshuva (repentance)? How can we stand before G-d and beg for forgiveness, and then one year later we stand again asking for forgiveness for the exact same things we asked the previous year? How can G-d take us seriously ?

Answer

Well, hopefully the next year it’s not exactly the same.

But even if it is, it’s like this: If you do 100% teshuva this Yom Kippur for some transgression, that means that you really really have committed heart and soul not to do it again. In fact, you’ve done such great teshuva that you’ve even come up with a plan of action how to avoid the transgression in the future.

For instance, let’s say someone is a murderer. We know from sociology (not to mention the Talmud) that the more a person does a transgression, the easier it is. The first time a person murders, it’s exceedingly difficult. But each subsequent time it gets easier and easier.

Doing full teshuva sets the meter back to zero, so that it’s as if the person never murdered before. That’s no guarantee that he won’t murder again, but it will be as hard as the first time, and if he has a real plan of action how to avoid it should the opportunity arise, he may very well. Then, if he finds he has murdered (G-d forbid) in the intervening year, the next Yom Kippur he is not a hypocrite because it’s as if he did it for the first time.

This only makes sense if he does full teshuva on Yom Kippur. If he merely pays lip-service to teshuva, then the next year he would indeed be a hypocrite.

In such a case, the person should do teshuva for not doing full teshuva (indeed, such is included in the standard Yom Kippur liturgy).

Rabbi Seinfeld
rabbiseinfeld.blogspot.com

Follow-up questions (2)

Question

What does it mean to do full Teshuva at Yom Kippur?

Answer

Yom Kippur is the day of atonement for the entire world. Teshuva is recognizing that G-d is fully in control of everything, and placing yourself within the framework of His requirements, ending all activities outside the framework of His requirements. It is a return to where a person is supposed to be. Teshuva is misunderstood as meaning repentence. It actually means return.

Question

I thought a murder was unforgivable because the murdered person would not have the opportunity to forgive. The murderer was to be sent to G_D to be dealt with.

Answer

One can ask forgiveness by going to the grave site of the victim with ten people and begging forgiveness there. This is considered as if he asked him in person.

Rabbi Meir Goldberg