I have a friend co-worker that just went through a terrible tragedy in his life, his parents both passed away under tragic circumstances. I wanted to get your perspective on how I could be of help him in recuperating from his sorrow
It is very kind of you to inquire how to help this man. Jewish tradition has some specific mourning customs which have withstood the test of time to help us cope with the greatest anguish – the loss of a loved one. Sadly, most Jews I encounter are unfamiliar with these customs.Therefore, the best thing you could do for him is to help him become better educated in these customs. You did not state his level of observance, so I’m guessing that he is a little bit traditional but not strictly so.
There are two books that I’ve suggested for such people:
1) The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning by Rabbi Maurice Lamm covers every detail of the customs. If you read it or give it to them, please let them know that it’s not “all or nothing” but the more that they observe, the easier it will be for them. I state this both as a rabbi and from personal experience, as my own father died suddenly a year ago, at the prime of his life.
2) Remember My Soul, by Lori Palatnik, is a workbook of exercises to help one cope with grief.
For immediate help, please see this online info, and feel free to be back in touch if I can be of further help. “May the Omnipresent comfort your friends, among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”
Rabbi Seinfeld