I have been struggling with respecting my father for a long time. I know everyone has their moments, but my father seems to have more of them. We often fight. My mom tells me that I shouldn’t let it get to me, but I don’t want to be a doormat…
The Torah requires a child to respect the parent. This does not mean that they have to act as a doormat. Allowing a parent to act towards you in such a way does not show them respect, but rather disrespect by accepting such behaviors. The Torah would require you to be respectful in your response to their actions. An example of an appropriate response may be “It hurts me too much to hear you talk to me this way so I will be leaving the room” or “I am sorry you are so upset but responding the way you do will not help me understand your point of view any better.” These responses are respectful in two ways. You are communicating your displeasure respectfully and showing your respect towards them in not allowing them to act with you in a disparaging way.
Best Wishes,
Rabbi Garfield
Atlanta GA