I know a woman who wears a talis and is actively involved in the services of her synagogue. I know that there are synagogues that will not allow her participation. ‘Why shouldn’t she be allowed to participate? especially in light of examples such as Rashi’s daughters and Berurya? How can a woman be expected to instill the values and meaning of Judaism without being required to first learn it?’
Thank you for asking such and important question.
The basic concept is that women are not obligated in time bound mitzvos because they have other obligations and responsibilities that are in many ways more important, i.e. taking care of the family, children, and home. In Judaism, the most important element of Jewish family life and one of the most important mitzvos in the Torah is our children’s Torah education. This stems from the mother’s nurturing nature. Therefore, if the mother was obligated to daven three times a day like the husband, then how would the children be taken care of? It is a beautiful system that is priority based and the truth is that a true Torah observant man believes that their wife has a much more important job than he. Also, however, they are a team. If you believe that prayer works then you understand that just like she is changing a diaper he is davening for the children and both are vital to the family’s success.
In terms of the obligations, a woman is obligated to many non-time bound mitzvos. Most women do not have the time or opportunity to learn about and truly master the spiritual potential found in those extremely important and powerful commandments. As a result great rebbetzins and Jewish women throughout the ages have spent their lives trying to master the spiritual potential offered in the mitzvos that they are obligated to keep.
While that is true, there have been some women throughout our illustrious history who have chosen to keep other mitzvos as well. You probably have heard that Rashi’s daughters wore tefillin. They chose to continue their heritage through that line of study. They did not, however, take all time bound mitzvos upon themselves. Women have choices to be able to keep more mitzvos throughout their lives and many do. The bottom line is that for women who master the mitzvos that they are obligated to do (like Rashi’s daughters) who spent their every waking moments studying and learning spiritual secrets – for those people taking the next step makes sense. Likewise, for men there are levels as well. There are many spiritual levels of study and practice that most Jewish men never even learn about or know exist. For most, they never will because they are not prepared to delve into it. For those who dedicate their lives to spiritual pursuits they may choose to delve deeper and get involved in higher level Jewish spirituality.
All of this, however, is predicated on the fact that these men and women are extremely learned people. To be honest, I have had the opportunity to meet some of the sages of our generation living in Israel and some in America. There are only a few men and women that I have ever met who would fall into this category of having the potential to go beyond what they are commanded to do and start to investigate other levels of observance. Just because a person feels spiritual or enjoys davening or has a nice voice does not mean that they are prepared to take on mitzvos that they were not initially commanded to keep. Spiritual Judaism is something that takes a lifetime to grow into. Perfunctory learning is a baseline, but the real potential is far beyond. Compare whatever Jewish learning you and those around you have accomplished – which is all fantastic – to those who, from the age of 3-4 years old have never learned anything else and have dedicated every waking moment to studying our holy texts. When you think about every waking moment, every TV show, every movie, every moment sitting on a beach and then realize that someone else used those moments to gain spiritual greatness – it gives all of us (including myself) pause. That is what it takes for men or women to achieve greatness. Of course, every mitzvah counts, but to say that a person has reached their potential with the opportunities that they have been given and are prepared to start a further journey into other obligations is chutzpah at the least compared to those who don’t think that they even come close to that point and have dedicated every waking moment to it.