How can I find the location of my true soul mate according to the Torah?
Hi,
You worded your question in an interesting way. You asked how you can find the location of your soul mate. You did not ask what should I do to know that she is the right one. So, I will try to answer the question that you asked.
A person can date many individuals. There is no way to know for sure if there is not someone half way around the world who you would not enjoy being with and find attractive. Fortunately, that is not what makes two people love each other. The blessing that I give to two people who are about to be married is “May today be the day that you love each other the least.”
Conventional thinking is the opposite. I cannot understand why. If we have the perspective that love grows with developing the relationship and that we are not expected to find the absolute perfect human then we will all have a much easier time finding our soul mate. We are sometimes so concerned about the “prerequisites” that we forget about what is really important when choosing a spouse.
To answer the question that you did not ask….
The Torah teaches us that every person has an “ezer kenegdo,” which means a person who completes them. More literally, the word represents opposing forces joining together. When searching for your soul mate keep that idea in mind. Also, remember that you are looking for someone who completes you and helps you to find yourself. Don’t be so picky that nobody is good enough for you, yet don’t think that you should attach yourself to the first person you see. You should work on understanding who you are and then you can better choose the kind of person you need for your spouse. Part of that development
is learning about your spirituality and write it down. Help yourself. Don’t look to others to help you unless you are willing to take that first step and ask the hard questions.
Be Well,
Rabbi Litt