Why do Jews tear their garments upon the death of a close relative? What does this tearing specifically symbolize?
Hi, Thanks for asking this important question. The tearing of the garment is a ritual that is brought down in the code of Jewish law as mandatory for everyone who loses a “karov,” a close relative, i.e. mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, husband, wife.
The symbolism behind it is one of two reasons cited in our writings:
One is given to us by the Shulchan Aruch, the code of Jewish law itself. It says that we tear our garments in order to arouse weeping and increase the mourners grief. Why increase it? Because the whole purpose of Shiva (the seven day mourning period) is to be forced to deal with the issues surrounding death. After a person goes through Shiva properly he or she is much less likely to have pent up feelings that did not come out during that intense time.
The second reason that is given states that we tear our garments to give our minds something else to think about when the unthinkable happens. Both reasons are valid and one can attach themselves to whichever they feel more appropriate to them or to both. I hope that all is well with you and we should all only hear happy news.
Be Well,
Rabbi Litt