I frequently wonder if God created man or did man create God. Although I go to services nearly every day (I’m saying Kaddish), I get very little out of the services. I’d really like to “believe” but sometimes I think that Judaism is only a belief. I’m troubled by the fact that we don’t have a Great Temple, a high priest, nor do sacrifices. It seems that the Jewish people broke the Covenant a long time ago.
Then I look at history – the holocaust, the bombings in Israel and recall the quote, “and I will hide my face from you”.
The practices I see taking place in various synagogues trouble me – difficulty getting a Minyan (the 10 men needed to recite the full prayers), ritual that seems more important than what is in one’s heart, rushing through a service so quickly, the words the Leader chants are barely recognizable.
So, here is my question, how can I develop more of a belief in God and a relationship. Clearly, going to services doesn’t do it for me, although I continue to attend services.
I’ve been in Torah study groups – but I get turned off when I get the “hard line” – when I get explanations that don’t seem to have much practical implication.
This is NOT an easy question to answer. I await your response.
Shalom
I hear ya’, man. I am with you 100%! When you go to synagogue and you don’t know the meaning of what’s going on, you look around the room and see lots of uninspired folk, and you see those on the other side of the street having better luck than you it can be daunting. I know because I’ve been there.
Even though I do not know exactly what the situation is like in your synagogue I can imagine. I would like to offer a couple of suggestions.
1.) Study the prayer service in depth. If you do not know what you are saying it is nearly impossible to connect with it. One way to do that is to call 1-800-study-4-2. They can set you up with a tele-partner, who will learn with you for 1 hour a week, or how ever long you want, for free. You can learn about whatever you want. I suggest starting off with prayer.
2.) Analyze how happy you are with your synagogue. I do not know where you live, but there are plenty of Torah observant synagogues where the spirit in the place is so lively that just being there is an inspiration. Of course not all places are like that, but in most cities there is at least one place that has inspirational prayer services. If you tell me where you live I can help you experience a Sabbath like you’ve never experienced before. (weekday prayers as well)
3.) Be careful not to judge the power of prayer by those who pray. Just because someone looks knowledgeable or religious does not make them so. The Mishna, the oral law, tells us “Asey lecha rav,” – Make yourself a teacher. In other words we need to go to a teacher and beg them to teach us if necessary. Find local classes. Once again, if you tell me where you live, I can help you find a local scholar who can point you in the right direction.
4.) Appearances are often deceiving. Do not be fooled by looking around at other groups and think that their prayers are answered while yours are not. By learning about what prayer really is we can see that people get things in this world, but that does not mean that their prayers were answered. Prayers are answered on a global scale. My prayer for healing may affect someone in Europe or a child in Chile. And likewise a child’s prayer in Chile may affect me. We never measure prayer by what we see ourselves receive. Our rabbis tell us that if we are sick, G-d forbid, we should not just pray for ourselves, but rather for another sick person. The more we are giving of ourselves, the more we will be given to. Have you ever noticed that the most unhappy people are those who have nobody to give to? Have you ever thought about why that is?
Start to become a happier person by actively giving your time and resources to others. You will soon see your prayers change.
5.) Finally, take a moment for personal reflection during your prayers. Do not just read the prayer book and walk away. That is not the point of prayer. Put in your own messages into each of the blessings in the silent prayer (the “Amidah”), and a special prayer at the end for those who you want to pray for, including yourself. Make prayer meaningful to you. Forget about those around you who are misguided about prayer. Take charge of yourself.
Be Well,
Rabbi Gershon Litt
Dear Rabbi,
Thank you for responding. I would be interested in studying some of the prayers.
Certainly, understanding the prayers would be helpful. But I have a deeper issue and that is understanding G-d. I do believe that there is a power that exists in the universe and I identify that power as G-d. But I do not belief G-d micro-manages the planet. For years I was a Jewish agnostic, then I became spiritual and for a while and struggle to believe.
But I think one needs to believe before one can expect to get anything from prayers. I think a key issue for me is one of belief. Got any suggestions?
Understanding G-d is a lofty goal. I would venture to say that there is not a human alive today that “understands G-d.” We try and attach ourselves to, as you say, “A Higher power.” That higher power does manage the world, but does not micro manage in the sense that you are referring to. We all have free will, which means that our ethical decisions are not G-d’s, they are ours to make. G-d runs the world as the CEO, but we are the managers of our departments, always trying to impress the Big Boss. I like this analogy because it helps us relate to G-d in a more human way.
With regards to the phone learning – it is also free. Partners in Torah pays for the long distance phone call! You can learn with someone who is an expert in the area. I highly suggest calling 1-800-study-4-2 and inquiring about it. Tell them that you want to learn more about prayer and G-d. That is their mission. I wish you lots of success in your learning. Feel free to write back.
Be Well,
Rabbi Gershon Litt