I have kinda a silly question. My sister in law stays
over at our house sometimes. She likes to borrow my
clothes. I think she likes to wear somebody elses
clothes more than hers. I really don’t like to share
my stuff. Not because I am greedy but it just makes me
uncomfortable.
I know torah tells us to be welcoming and to open our
doors to everybody. Is it wrong to tell her to wear
her own clothes? And how can I tell her that I am
uncomfortable with something without hurting her
feelings? I usually have a problem telling family
members or friends if something is bothering me. I
have a problem standing up for myself too.
Thank you
Hi,
Thanks for asking this question. I think that you should kindly and gently
tell her that you would be more comfortable if she brought her own clothes.
That is not an abnormal request. Furthermore, this should transfer to other
aspects of your life as well. Being assertive does not mean that you have to
be rude to people. You can look out for yourself and be kind at the same
time. Don’t let others walk all over you. When the Torah teaches us to be
kind to others it does not mean at the expense of our personal physical or
mental health. Know what your limits are, set them, and follow through with
making sure that they are honored.
Be Well,
Rabbi Litt