Today the term “abuse” has developed a broader definition than in times past, including verbal, psychological and emotional with the physical. What does Torah (or any other appropriate source) tell us on how one should treat their wife?
Here are some sources that might be useful:
“A man should eat and drink [spending] below his means, dress according to his means and honor his wife beyond his means because her wellbeing depends on her husband and his on God” (Talmud Chulin 84b). In other words, if a wife is financially dependent on her husband he has to see that all her needs are provided – and these needs – clothing etc., – are called “honoring her.”
“One who loves his wife like his very self (k’gufo) and honors her more than [he would honor] himself…about him it is said ‘and you will know peace in your tent…’” (Talmud Yevamos 62b)
“…One should push away [one’s wife] with his left hand and draw her close with his right hand” (Talmud Sanhedren 107b). That is to say, even when there is some kind of disagreement, the greater energy should be expended in maintaining and enhancing the relationship than in the dispute.
“A man should be especially careful [not to] cause any emotional pain (Ona’ah) to his wife: since her tears are more present (i.e., are more easily provoked), therefore [the prohibition of] Ona’ah is more present” (Talmud Bava Metzia 59a).
With my best regards,
Rabbi Boruch Clinton