My father passed a way two weeks ago. My only brother refuses to say kadish. Is that horrible? Will that effect my father getting to heaven? Can someone else say kadish?
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. You are asking a very good question and I commend you for asking the question in the first place. So many people today do not think about a connection between what we do in this world and what happens in the next. Of course, in Judaism, we believe strongly in the power of our actions. I would like to answer your question in a few parts.
1.) In terms of the actual saying of the kadish: it is a very powerful action to do. When a person says kadish it directly affects the soul of the individual that it is being said for and the person who is saying it.
2.) Nevertheless, your father will be in the place that he belongs. While kadish helps, it is not a magical spell or series of words that, if not said, will not allow the soul of the individual to get what it deserves in the next world. G-d knows everything and is not going to punish your father because kadish is not being said.
3.) You can pay someone else to say kadish for you. You can go to your local orthodox synagogue and they should be glad to help you.