What is the meaning behind breaking the glass at a wedding ceremony?
The custom of breaking a glass at a wedding stems from an incident recorded in the Talmud (Tractate Brachot 31a). One of the Sages was bothered by the fact that the guests at his son’s wedding were getting a little too wild and frivolous – losing touch with reality; he then proceeded to pick up one of his most expensive glass goblets and smashed it on the floor in front of those guests, who were very quickly brought back to earth.
His message was that ‘escaping’ from the reality of the human predicament by losing oneself in occasions which provide an excuse for wild celebration, is not a desirable thing. We live in a world where people are desperately afraid to face up to the reality of their own lives, unable and unwilling to confront fundamental problems, and grasp for any escape they can find in the form of drugs, alcohol, movies, soap operas, sports and sex – just to name a few. At every Jewish wedding, the breaking of the glass is a reminder to everyone present not to use the celebration as an escape – that amidst all the joy there must be at least a slight awareness of the delicate balance between life and death, an awareness that we live in a world in which joy and sadness vie for control of our moments; the shattering glass, for those who take note, creates a very healthy realism and an ability to confront life head-on – a safe-guard against illusion. By reminding us of the fragility of our lives, we are reminded of the event that, according to Jewish tradition, is the source of that fragility: the destruction of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem – the event which meant that God’s presence and the awareness that connection to it brings, no longer had a permanent place on Earth. It is a reminder that our joy cannot be complete until the Messiah comes and the Temple is rebuilt. Some sing the psalm beginning with “If I forget you, Jerusalem…” immediately following the smashing of the glass.
Sincerely,
Ari Lobel