I am a teen in a Jewish house. I did something wrong and my parents think that I did this because of the influence of my friends. They won’t let me converse with some because they don’t trust them. What is a good example in the Torah that shows that you should show trust?
Indeed, it’s true that you are often required to show trust to another Jew in matters of Jewish law (when the other Jew has what’s called a “Chezkat Kashrut” – an assumption that he only acts in a proper way). However, this assumption actually depends a lot on the specific situation. For instance: if a “Kosherâ€? Jew is always careful in everything he does, we might still not be able to trust him blindly if we know he lacks the proper education and understanding to successfully complete some job. There’s nothing wrong with him, it’s simply beyond his control.
Similarly, if the circumstances suggest that a particular Jew doesn’t personally care about some issue, then, again, we can’t trust him that he’ll treat our interest in that issue as we would treat it ourselves.
While it’s even more complex, this is also true of relationships within families. The happiest and most productive atmosphere can be created only if everyone completely trusts one another’s judgment and abilities. However, in the real world, a parent might sometimes choose to suspend that trust if he feels that his child is at some risk. Sure, parents can sometimes make mistakes and be too careful, but, in most cases, their guidance is more likely than not to be correct.
The Torah requires us to listen to the Rabbis of the Sanhedrin (even though there is the tiny chance that they’ll be wrong) because the alternative is a world where there is no authority. So too, it could be said that it’s worth listening to parents in general even though they might indeed make the occasional mistake – because, in the long term, the odds are on their side.
I hope that this is helpful. Let me know if there’s anything you think I can do.
With regards,
Rabbi Boruch Clinton