Why doesn’t a bride exchange rings with her groom and say something under the chupah (Wedding canaopy)? Surely in these days of equality, the marriage ceremony should be updated to reflect contemporary reality.
The giving of a ring (or anything else of value) from the husband to his wife fulfills a very specific legal arrangement that simply doesn’t exist in reverse. The Torah itself writes that a man is to “take” (“ki tikach”) his wife and teaches that this “taking” is to be effected by offering something of value. When the woman chooses to accept the ring, she is allowing the two of them to enter into a new legal status, one in which each has definite obligations to the other.
There is, of course, nothing stopping a Jew from initiating any custom he or she sees as fitting. But, if the goal is the fulfillment of this particular legal transfer, then exchanging rings runs the risk of confusing the process. If a new bride would like to both preserve the integrity of this legal event and give her husband a ring, she could certainly do so either before or after the chuppah ceremony
With my best wishes,
Rabbi Boruch Clinton
Ottawa, Canada