I am very concerned about my sister. She knows nothing about the Torah, or Mitzvot. How would I help my sister connect with what is important. She spends more time looking at mindless books and involved in reckless relationships. She worries me I am afraid it is going to be too late, and she will sway even further from Judaism. Can you please give me some advice, and how i should approach her, it worries me that she pays more attention to the things when she could spend her time and lifestyle on things that are a lot more significant. Regards
There really is no simple answer to your question: people are far too complicated for there to be a single approach that’s guaranteed to inspire everyone.
How, then, are you to draw your sister’s attention to the beauty of Torah values? I would suggest that your most powerful weapon is the bond of family that ties you together. If your sister isn’t left to wonder if perhaps your only interest the whole thing is for some
personal gain, but rather, she sees that you are concerned for her well-being and are sincerely and intelligently devoted to Torah, that can have a profound impact.
At the same time, don’t worry if you’re not yet 100% perfect in your own Torah practice or if your intentions aren’t perfectly pure; just do the very best you can and trust HaShem that He will give your sister the opportunity she needs to make the right decisions.
As far as practical efforts you might make, a lot depends on the type of person she is. I can suggest that arranging for her to spend a Shabbos meal with a family whose Torah lifestyle is deep and happy can be a most powerful experience. It can, however, be difficult to pull off.
It comes to mind that there is a book that might be useful: “Vanquish the Dragon” (www.feldheim.com). This is the true story of some selfless and courageous Beis Yakov girls struggling through the Holocaust. There’s a lot of brutality in the book (as you’d expect from a Holocaust book), but the real subject is the nobility and spiritual greatness that a human being can achieve through Torah.
It’s hard not to be inspired by these girls and I wonder if your sister might not respond well to the story.
In any case, I wish you the very greatest success in your own Torah growth and in your relationship with your sister.
Rabbi Boruch Clinton
Ottawa, Canada