I have had an increasing fear of death. I am terrified of the idea of my life and memories being extinguished after my short time on this earth has ended. I am 40 now and am looking back on what is probably a life half-over. I also feel regret that I am not farther along in my life and career at this point. Is our consciousness simply snuffed-out when we die? Do we lose our memory of, and connection to, our loved ones? Do we see those we love again when we die?
Hi, thanks for asking this very important question. Death is not easy for anyone to deal with. Nobody wants to die and everyone wants to be able to live forever with those whom they love and cherish. The truth is that from a Jewish perspective death is simply a part of your spiritual life.
I once heard a great quote:
“When you die they bury you and put a tombstone over your grave. The stone will have your birthday, a dash, and your date of death. What is the most important thing about that part of the stone? The dash is.“
Think about that. Who really cares about the day you were born or the day you die? All that matters is how you spend your life. We are only scared of something if we do not know what to expect. If we spend our lives doing our best at spiritual growth and self development then we have nothing to worry about because we are living up to our potential. If, however, we put no effort to spiritual growth then we are scared because we are nervous about the outcome. It is never too late to start learning and growing spiritually. When a person starts to learn about Judaism their lives change. They become happier and more focused. Worry and anxiety will go away and your life will be filled with the joy of learning. It is an amazing power that I wish every Jew would choose to experience. It is there for all of us if we choose to take it.
Be Well,
Rabbi Litt