At what age do the laws of Negiah (physical contact) begin for boys and girls?At what age is it no longer permissible for a man to arry a girl, or for a woman to touch or carry a boy?
Technically, the laws of Negiah (and Yichud – private seclusion – for that matter) begin for a girl from the age of three and for a boy from the age of nine. But what is prohibited is to touch a member of the opposite sex “in an intimate manner”, “Derech Chibah.” For example,a doctor or nurse may touch a member of the opposite sex (even in non-emergency situations) during the course of an examination, since this is non-intimate touching). Touching a child, even in a loving way (holding the hand, pinching or kissing the cheek), is not considered “intimate”, if that action is appropriate for a child of that age. For example, it would be perfectly acceptable for an uncle to hold his five year old niece’s hand, but not his 15 year old niece’s hand. A boy who is a counselor in a camp for little children would be permitted to hold the hand of a four year old girl, but not necessarily of a seven year old girl.
Issues of modesty can be very complex. It may be worth purchasing one of the many publications available on the subject to get more of an in-depth understanding.