I’m living in Istanbul and my boyfriend is Jewish. I want to become a Jew and raise my children as Jewish. Conversion is a hard, long process in Israel. Where is an easy place to convert? It’s important to me that the Jewish community in Istanbul accept me. What is the process? How many times do I have to come?
Thank you for writing to us and asking this important question.
First, it is important to know that it is indeed a long process to becoming Jewish. It is hard whether you are in Israel, Istanbul, or America. Nobody will convert somebody to Judaism long distance or without really knowing the person.
Second, as I am sure you know, the State of Israel and many places around the world only accept conversions as legitimate if they are performed by a properly ordained Rabbi and done according to our ancient traditions. Some of the “easy” ways to do it will cause you more problems because it is not accepted in Israel at all and you would not be considered a Jew by Jewish law. I know nothing about what your options are in Istanbul, but in Israel at least you know that the process is a good one. Do not be discouraged by people pushing you away. That is part of the process. Part of making sure that you are serious about doing this is to push you away a little and see if you are really serious or not. Of you are looking for easier ways to do it, that is a sign to many Rabbis that would make someone question your motives in wanting to convert.
Finally, in Jewish law a child born to a non-Jewish mother is absolutely not Jewish. Therefore, it is imperative that you do this properly and for the right reasons. I wish that there was a simple, quick solution for you. But ask yourself this question: How many people who have reached true happiness in their lives say that is happened overnight? If something is worth having, then it is worth investing in and learning about. Stick with the program and realize that Judaism is a beautiful, ancient religion that deserves a chance in your life, but that is up to you. You need to do this for you, not for your husband. That is why the process takes as long as it does. Judaism is not interested in numbers of people. We are interested in the quality of our people.
Be well, and I wish you and your fiance all of the mazal, luck, in the world.
Be Well,
Rabbi Gershon Litt