Question: Kindly explain the religions attitude to suicide? can a suicide be buried in an orthodox way? thanks

Answer: The Torah, which begins by relating to us how G-d first breathed life into the newly fashioned human body, stands quite opposed to suicide.

Many people (if not most people) make a mistake when they look at themselves or others and judge the value of their lives. We often see ourselves as unproductive or unsuccessful compared to the bar so many set as their standard. Being young, rich, skinny, attractive, talented, outwardly happy, or, more deeply, appreciated and loved, are usually the things that society says gives one worth.

Meaning in life, however, is not determined by democracy. It is invested in us by G-d. Each of us (meaning you, me, anyone else we may be thinking of) is created in G-d’s image. G-d planted in each of us a unique potential to overcome exactly the combination of tests we alone are confronted with. Life, the Torah teaches, is all about meeting our own challenges. That is the true Jewish definition of success.

We are often challenged with pain, depression, disappointment and feelings of emptiness. It is how we battle these exclusive challenges that makes each of us uniquely who we are. Being rich or healthy or famous is not much of a test; it’s more like a lollypop. Greatness comes from facing challenges; not from the spoils of success.

The very things that may make a person depressed are, in fact, the very challenges that can give our lives real meaning. And this is the kind of real meaning the Jewish People have always been about (look at history).

Plus, we don’t own our bodies, Judaism teaches. They belong to G-d. At the end of our lives it is G-d Who takes them back.

There are plenty of references to this issue in the classical Jewish sources (see Genesis 9:5 and Talmud Baba Kama 90b, just to start). But the bottom line is that G-d really did put each of us here for a reason and, though we may wish we were here for a different reason, we have to understand that our reason and mission really is the ideal one for us: our unique potential.

And finally, we must realize and appreciate that there really is a lot of good in the world, even for every one of us. No matter what our own limitations, there are always others to whom we can offer something, others we can help. This potential we possess, especially, can add a lot of meaning to our lives (and usually it’s a meaning we can feel.)

(It occurs to me now that your question may have had to do with the special situation of physician assisted suicide [like for the terminally ill]. There also, the Torah is opposed to suicide, but the issue has certain different facets; so please let me know if that was what you really wanted addressed.)

Regarding burial, someone who committed suicide is not buried in a Jewish cemetery. But Torah authorities are often lenient in how they define who is a suicide. They will usually presume a death was simply a tragic accident unless there is irrefutable evidence that it was a suicide. All this depends on the assessment of the local Torah authorities.

All the Best,
Shlomo Shulman