What is the proper sequence and why for Friday night Shabbat? Candle lighting, Wine blessing, challah blessing, father’s blessing of his children… Also, is there a blessing by the husband for his wife? If yes, what is it?

I will go over with you the basic procedure on Friday night:

• Before sunset (in most communities 18 minutes before, but in others 20 or even 40 in Jerusalem) the woman of the house lights the candles, covers her eyes to block seeing the light, recites the blessing on the candles, and then opens her eyes and enjoys the sight of the lights. At the point that she makes the blessing on the candles, it is Shabbat for her in every respect.


• When the husband returns home from the synagogue (usually already after sunset or nightfall), most families have the custom of singing “Shalom Aleichem,” a song welcoming in the Shabbos angels.


• Following Shalom Aleichem, many have the custom for the husband (or the whole family) to sing “Aishes Chayil,” a song taken from Proverbs 31:10. While there are deep mystical reasons for singing this song on Shabbat, a basic understanding of this is that it is said as a song of appreciation to the wife for all her efforts in running the Jewish home. To the best of my knowledge, this is the closest thing to “blessing the wife” that we have.


• At this point, many have the custom that the father blesses the children. [Some do so (as I do) after the “Kiddush,” wine blessing.]


• The blessing on the wine (Kiddush) is said. Even though all adults are required to recite this blessing, in most homes the father/husband recites it alone and everyone else fulfills their obligation by listening carefully to the father’s blessing. [See this post to learn how to make Kiddush]


• Washing the hands for bread: Prior to eating bread we wash our hands to the wrist from a utensil (a cup), twice on each hand.


• The blessing on the Challah (the loaf of bread) is recited (as with Kiddush, usually the father recites it on behalf of everyone else) and the Challah is eaten.


• The Shabbat meal begins! I hope this helped you.

Be well and enjoy your Shabbat!

Rabbi Moshe Rosenstein