I’ve been doing something that I now realize is wrong, but I’ve been doing it so long that it’s become habitual. It’s an uphill battle. I’m working to improve my performance, but I often seem to fall back into my old habits. When G-d judges me, does He take into account that I developed this habit before I realized what I was doing was wrong? Also, how does one break a habit that’s become so ingrained?

This is a very deep question. Teshuva (personal change, lit. return) is the process of cleansing one’s self from the things in a person’s life that need to be removed. True Teshuva brings a person to realize that something is wrong and therefore they change themselves to comply to what is right. The reality is that this is very hard to do and that is what a person is ultimately judged on. In other words, true Teshuva is the accomplishment of getting to the point where you can fight against your inner urges to do wrong and win. You may not win every time, but you recognize the importance of it and you do your best. Judgment is relative to the individual. To the extent that you fight your urges given your personal potential, that is your judgment. In a sense that is who you are. How much of your personal potential you reach is the definition of “you.”

In order to change one’s character it takes deep rooted thought about that specific sin and what is inherent in a person’s personality that makes him do that particular thing. There is no way to give someone a blanket solution to all sins for all people. Each sin for each person is unique. A doctor would never prescribe a medication without first looking at the patient’s medical history and possible drug interactions. So too, there is no way to give a general answer to how to rid oneself of a particular sin without knowing what the sin is or anything about the person.

What I can say is that the first step to approaching and defeating sin is identifying why you are sinning in the first place. What subtle satisfaction are you getting from that particular action? What can you put in its place in order to not have the desires to commit that sin again? If you want a practical suggestion take an hour, sit down, make a list of things that you need to improve on in your life, identify 5 things that you can change immediately and make those changes. You might find that this alone pulls you away from other sins as well.

One more point: if a person got used to sinning that does not change anything. We understand that if a person is uneducated about Jewish law then they are not held accountable to it at that point. Once they know, however, they should do their best to keep the law. A person’s judgment is based on their potential. If someone knows what they have to do and could do it, but is too lazy or unwilling to change then they are liable. If a person, however, really has issues that make it much harder to change then the change is even more powerful and valuable once achieved.

Be Well,
Rabbi Litt