What constitutes a proper conversion? Also, if a woman chooses Judaism and her husband remains Christian, is her conversion allowed?

Hi, Thanks for asking this question.

In terms of your first question, there are a few things that are required for a “kosher” conversion. Before any of this is a long process of learning and each convert usually has a “rabbinic sponsor” – someone who vouches for the desire and legitimacy of the candidate.

1. The person must keep the Torah properly – i.e. kosher, Shabbat, holidays, laws of family purity, etc. This is not a negotiable issue. If a person wants to be Jewish but is not ready to make that level of commitment then there is nothing that they can do to be a Jew.


2. After they have “proven” that being a Jew in the proper Torah way is what they want to the satisfaction of a competent Jewish legal authority then it depends on if they are a man or a woman.



• If they are a man then they must have a ritual circumcision (being circumcised in a hospital is not sufficient, but if they are previously circumcised then it is no big deal and is not really that painful – they just take a little blood.)


• The next step is the mikveh for men and women. They dunk themselves in a mikveh in front of a rabbinical court of 3 Torah scholars. (There is no modesty issue here, as precautions are taken to make sure that the only thing that the rabbis see is that she is under the water completely – they do not see her go in or come up)


3. If there are two Jews (husband and wife) converting at the same time they must separate from each other usually for about 90 days as to ensure that the woman is not pregnant.

Given this information you can probably tell that according to Jewish law there is no way any worthwhile rabbi would allow a Jewish woman to convert while she is still married to a non-Jew. The non-Jew would have to want to convert on his own and then both would go through the process. If a woman went through the process and still wanted to remain married to a non-Jew no Torah observant rabbi would allow the conversion to take place in the first place. By way of definition it is important to note that there is no way for a Jew to really marry a non-Jew. A Jew can “live” with a non-Jew, but marriage in Jewish law is a very specific thing and cannot happen between a Jew and non-Jew.

I know many people where one person started becoming more observant within the Jewish faith and eventually their spouses came along with them. That is common, but they both have to want it for their own reasons, not because of their spouse.

Be Well,
Rabbi Litt