My father passed away recently. Although my father and I rarely saw eye to eye on anything, we loved each other dearly and were very close. This is a difficult time for me. I remember something referred to as a Yahrzeit. Could you explain this to me and some of the traditional observances?

I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your father and the difficult times that you are having. May you quickly find comfort in your friends and family, and may G-d give you the fortitude and understanding to appreciate all of the wonders of His world!

Yahrtzeit is the anniversary of the death on the Hebrew calendar. On this day the family of the deceased lights a “Yahrtzeit candle” in honor of their beloved one, recite the Kaddish in his merit and memory, and give generously to charity as a merit for the soul of their relative. Some have a custom to fast on that day, but not all Jews do so. However, it certainly is a day that should be used serious thought and introspection, and not a time to spend in frivolous types of entertainment.

I hope that this is helpful. Take care, and have a happy, healthy, and sweet New Year!

Rabbi Aaron Tendler