Project Genesis

Mitzvos (Commandments)


Helping Others the Healthy Way

Question: I have a problem with asking money for my services. I help people through emotional stress and difficulties in life. I have tried to not charge for my time, because I have found so much of what I direct others to, I can find in the Torah.

Answer: A general rule of thumb for giving advice and support is that one must never feel like a hero. That is because heroes tend to feel superior to the people they help which leads to all sorts of chaos. One of the ways to feel less heroic is to feel indebted, and one of the ways to feel indebted is by charging a fee. If one can neutralize feelings of heroism other ways, or if those feelings just don’t start, then there is no reason to charge. If those feelings start and I’m feeling like I’m on the giving end of the stick then I have to do something to neutralize those feelings or ask myself why I am letting those feelings persist rather than charging a fee, for example.

I hope this is useful, but in any case I’m wishing you well in your efforts to help others.


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