Project Genesis

Reward and Punishment

Why "Bad" Things Happen

Loss of a Child

Question: My son died more than a year ago. He suffered for a long time – many years – and my life was forever changed. I eroded emotionally. I watched my son suffer through horrible pain. I know that he is with G-d. I suffer regret for my part in his suffering. I am almost disabled from this long suffering of my child, my regrets from his life, his horrible death, the fear he had, the horrible way that he lived at the end. I am lost and looking for directions now.

Answer: There are no words that I can say to you that will answer you questions or mend your broken heart. There is nothing more painful and heartbreaking than losing a child. Why the righteous suffer is the age old question that no one has yet provided a satisfying answer to. There is even an entire book in Scriptures dedicated to this dilemma: “The Book of Job.” There too, you will find no answers. The only way to overcome such a tragedy is to look for the signs that G-d loves you. Look at your other beautiful children and blessings bestowed upon you. Realize that G-d loves you more than you could ever love anybody. The love a parent has for a child is a gift imparted to us so we can have some comprehension of G-d’s love for his children. My great-grandmother lost a husband and 8 children to the Nazi monsters. She picked herself up with faith and rebuilt a family on the shores of this great country. She understood that G-d’s ways, at times, are not comprehensible, but she trusted in His love and ability to control every detail in the universe with wisdom and precision. In truth, in this world, there are no answers. However, some achieve consolation and peace by not having questions. They have unconditional trust in G-d’s concern for their welfare.

If you wish to explore more in this area of theology, be guided through the process of grieving, or meet with a Rabbi, please be in touch.

With heartfelt sympathy,
Rabbi Shlomo Soroka

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