Project Genesis




Judaism and Non-Jews

Intermarriage

Intermarriage

I am not of the Jewish faith, yet the guy I’m seeing is Jewish. I have yet to meet his parents and I understand they would prefer that he date a Jewish girl—but we’re in love! What’s wrong with us getting married?

Thanks very much for your letter.

While Judaism does consider intermarriage to be wrong, there is a more practical aspect that is often easier to understand. There is no doubt that you can fall in love with someone from a different faith, but is the union likely to last? According to the research and much experience in the area, such a relationship is usually asking for trouble. As people get older and more mature, settle down, and especially when they have kids, their priorities change. Things that were never important to them suddenly become important. Childhood memories surface. The desire for community, tradition, religion, and G-d grow. So while there may be real feelings now, and it may even be a little exotic, for the sake of a successful marriage, and for the sake of the kids, it is important to realize how complicated things really get.

I suggest you and your boyfriend read a copy of my book, “Why Marry Jewish” (Targum/Feldheim, 2003), if you want more info on the subject

Best regards
Doron Kornbluth

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