Project Genesis

Marriage to a Kohen

What exactly does “Zona” mean when referring to a marriage with a Kohen. I met a kohen and am not a virgin. He has said that he cannot marry a non virgin. What are the exceptions for this rule? I no longer live the lifestyle I once did and would never have intercourse outside of marriage.

I sympathize with your situation. I am a kohen myself and I had to end a relationship with a girl I was dating because of a background similar to yours.

Forgive me for possibly hurting you with this answer but you deserve an honest answer. “Zona” means a prostitute and refers to a Jewish woman who had sex with a non-Jew. A Kohen is designated by G’d to serve Him in a more intimate capacity that other Jews and, as such, he is required to maintain a higher spiritual level. He is not required to marry a virgin but he cannot marry a convert, a divorcee or a prostitute.

The fact that you have changed is wonderful and could very well erase your past sins but a physical status cannot be miraculously restored. Let us make a comparison to the world of medicine. If someone ignored his health and ate foods that made him a diabetic, he cannot undo that damage to his body even if he now changes his diet.

Let me reassure you that G’d loves you and wants the best for you. If He forbids you from marrying this particular Kohen, then He is telling you that that marriage would not be a successful one. He is looking out for you, not cruelly punishing you.

Good luck and I pray that you soon find the mate that is meant for you.

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